Thou Shalt Not Fear

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
2 Timothy 1:7

Maybe God should have made an eleventh commandment that reads, "Thou shalt not fear". Lately I have really been struggling with my fear. The Lord clearly states that fear is not from Him but from His enemy, Satan.

When you have a soldier overseas, whether it be a spouse, family member or even just a great friend, sometimes we can't help but be afraid. We let the unknown control us.

As a Christian, I am called to let God have complete control over my life, and that includes Him having His will done with me and for me. I know the Father is in control of everything happening or not happening in my life, and I have faith that He is being a protective shield for my husband while he is serving in Afghanistan, but sometimes God's will isn't our will.

I pray every single day for the safety of Jonathan and the men he serves with, but I also pray that God's will be done. That's the scary part. I don't know what God's will is. I would like to think that His will is for Jonathan to return home alive and well and in one piece, but that may not be the case.

When this deployment started out, I was so confident in Jonathan's safe return; I had a "sound mind". Now that he's been gone for almost one month, my confidence is wavering. I've been receiving emails every time an incident overseas occurs. Within just one week, 9 soldiers have been injured. When I spoke to Jonathan yesterday, I asked him how close he had been to the first IED explosion that injured 7 soldiers; his response was, "If you only knew how close." That isn't a real confidence boost for an already worrying wife, but I know he has to confide in someone, and I'm glad it's me. It's kind of one of those situations where you want to know everything, but it's probably best if you don't, but you ask anyway and later regret knowing anything at all.

I know things are bad in Afghanistan; I am not blind to the media, but I also know that my God is much, MUCH, bigger than any war this planet has ever seen. Girls, I am asking you to keep me accountable, and maybe I can keep you accountable as well. We need not worry about our men. Our fear is not going to bring them home any sooner, and it won't change the Lord's will. What's going to happen is going to happen, period. So, I am asking you all, anyone who reads my blog, to periodically check in on me and ask how my fear level is. Remember, fear is of the Devil. He plays tricks on our mind, and we must be aware. God is in control, always.

God bless you and your soldier.