So, Jonathan's first deployment really wasn't all that tough for me in retrospect. It felt like the hardest thing I'd faced in my life at that time, but we really had it easy. I got to talk to him every day, with the exception of his "mission" days.
This deployment, however, I'm hearing from him very rarely. Anyone else experiencing the same? I know, I know, he's been gone barely one week and I'm already complaining. But ya know, it's tough when you go from seeing and talking to a person every single day to not seeing them at all and rarely hearing their voice. It's the days in between talking, Facebooking or Skyping that make deployments really tough. I know for myself personally, I often give myself a 24 hour time frame where I know Jonathan is safe because I "just talked to him". After those 24 hours, a fear can take root inside that makes you wonder if you'll see the men in uniform coming to knock on your door.
It's a bummer when you don't hear from someone you really want to, especially when the person is your best friend. That's what Jonathan is to me, my best friend. Of course I have my girls, but they're on a different relationship level (obviously lol). Jonathan knows me inside and out, and it's wonderful. He knows when I'm mad, sad or just plain worried. And bless him, he knows how to make me laugh when I want to bite his head off! I usually find myself saying, "UGH! *giggle* *giggle* Let me just be mad at you!" Oh, he has my heart.
I know I'm not the only one going through husband withdrawals, and it's comforting in a sad way. It's nice to know that others are facing and feeling the same emotions I am. It's relaxing to know that men are coming home every single day to their wives and families. Even though we don't all know each other, we're bonded in a way "civilian" wives don't understand. When we say we miss our husbands, it isn't meant in the same way a civilian wife misses hers. Most likely she'll see him in a few hours or days. We have to wait months.
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but sometimes distance can cause irreversible damage, too. Distance has caused many wonderful relationships to come crashing down to the ground. It almost had its way with Jonathan and I. Sad but true, we were apart more than we were together. His Basic Training course lasted four months, then he got two weeks home. Mind you, we had only been dating two months prior to him leaving for Basic. During his two weeks home, he proposed. He made it to his duty station (Fort Lewis) in January '10. We saw each other four days out of that month, two weeks in February, then he was deployed in March for four months. He returned home for two weeks in July, then we didn't see each other again until Christmas of that year. After Christmas, we were apart until we were married in May 2011. You do the math.
Distance can bring distrust, change of emotions, feelings and even heart. Only the strong ones make it through, and often times even they struggle.
Don't let distance have its way with you and your spouse. Keep reminding yourself why you love your husband. I know how easy it is to forget. I forgot our first deployment, and I think he did, too. Write down the little things he does that make your heart go pitter-patter. Not necessarily sexual, although it can be those too, but things that make you laugh: cute faces he makes, sounds, the cute way he eats, WHATEVER! Write one thing every day, a list if you will, each day he is gone. It will keep you loving your husband (and even some girls from straying), and by the time he returns, you'll have a list that you can show him that makes him feel appreciated and worth something. Plus, he'll know you really care; believe it or not, some men need to know their women care, too. Us women are sometimes selfish, and we think that we're the ones who always need our husbands to prove they love us, but remember that men have hearts, too.
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